I have been silent for a little while.
I want to share with you that I have experienced so much change in my life in the past few weeks.
For the most part, I am trying to make space to allow this change to happen without reacting or judging. I am trying to be still and quiet and remember that the only thing constant in life is change.
However, I must also admit that it has been a very turbulent time both internally and externally.
In the last few days, the following changes occured: my daughter turned one (when did that happen?), my husband received his green card and arrived in the US (after four months of separation), and we are in the process of moving. I might just add that all of this is occurring while I am in a very busy period in my business.
Don’t get me wrong, I am really excited about all of these changes! At the same time, change is never easy. Even though these these are all exciting changes, they do not occur without challenges, fears, anxieties and doubts.
I have experienced many challenges, fears, anxieties, and doubts in the last few days.
It was such a joy to see my baby girl turn one AND, my joy also carries a slight pang of fear as I see her growing up so quickly. As a momtrepreneur, it’s difficult to balance being a mom, working from home and starting and running a business. I cannot deny that I feel guilt that I am not being fully present for my daughter.
I love my husband and I am so happy to be reunited with him AND our reunion does not come without certain difficulties. Speaking for myself, it is taking me some time to get used to being in a relationship again. During our time apart I was very independent (as independent as possible with a one-year-old). Now, I am having to take my husband’s needs and wants into consideration. And I must admit that our reunion has not been without points of friction.
I cannot even down-play how difficult it to remember how to co-habitat with someone. It’s the little things that take a lot to get used to, for instance, learning how to sleep together again or individual preferences in terms of food or products.
Last, but not least, the moving has also been the external representation of all of this change. I am very excited for this move because we will have much more space to move around. The house that we are moving to sits on two acres of land so there will be some elbow room between us and our neighbors, and a large yard for the baby to run around. And still, the process of moving sucks.
I wrote all of this, not only to say what is going on for me in my life but also to tell you that change is difficult. What is important to remember (I am trying to remember this) is that change also makes something possible. Even though things are difficult in the time of transition, what is possible on the other side?
For me what is possible is being with family again and watching my daughter grown and change. I am also watching myself grow and change into a new and better version of myself. Remembering this doesn’t make change any easier, but it does help me to reframe it as an opportunity and a challenge rather than a burden.
I would love to hear from you. What changes are you experiencing in you life and what is helping you during the transition?