The early postpartum period is a paradox because on the one hand you have recently become the primary care-giver for a new human life and on the other hand, the physical demands of labor and emotional demands of motherhood have left you very vulnerable. It doesn’t matter how high-functioning you were pre-baby, you will probably need to ask for help with baby care, your physical recovery, and financial assistance.
Asking others for help is both necessary and can extremely difficult. And if you were extremely independent and self-reliant pre-baby, it may be out of your comfort zone to ask and rely on others for help. You may equate asking for help as a sign or vulnerability or a sign of weakness, synonymous with a loss of self-confidence, autonomy, and the ability to make your own decisions.
I do empathize that it may be very difficult for you to ask for the help that you need. If you are a highly independent woman who has difficulty asking for help because you see it as a sign of weakness, please listen as I attempt to change your mindset around this.
Asking for help does not have to be a sign of weakness, instead it can be a showing of great strength. Allowing yourself to be vulnerable is a tremendous strength. It requires you to open your heart and access parts of you that you cannot access when you are completely confident, whole, and physically strong. It is going into the heart and from this place, saying “I need…” “I am unable to…” “Can you please help me with…” “This is difficult for me…” When your vulnerability comes from the heart it is strength and people feel this. It is a genuine request and there is a deep and loving connection that happens in this moment.
Do you have difficulty asking for help? If so, what is your biggest issue around asking for help? Please reply in the comments section below.